Klondike Bar
by NeverStar
Summary: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?


A/N: I'm not going to lie, but this idea came up when I read the book Wicked. But there's _no freaking way_ the two are related_._ _No freaking way._ Yet this idea formed.

I think I've gone mental because of how my brain works.

And I've found the original commercial via YouTube. 1983 baby! WHOO WHOO THAT'S OLD!

Disclaimer: -shakes head- Nope!

* * *

What Would You **Do** For a Klondike Bar?

* * *

The Minister of Autumn was drumming his fingers on his desk, seriously bored. Like, he was so incredibly bored that if he had a computer and watched Sesame Street via Netflix, he would find it entertaining.

And that's saying something.

Truth be told though, he _shouldn't_ have been bored because he was in an "important" meeting with the Queen, the Lord of Winter, and the other Ministers including Fairy Mary and Fairy Gary. But honestly, he was bored out of his mind and didn't shiv a git to what was going on. All he wanted to do was fly up to a tree, lay on it, and sleep. Why? Because it was Tuesday! That's why. Tuesday was like Monday for him, and he was _not_ happy. At all.

So when Tinker Bell barged in with this silver shiny thingy singing, "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" He silently thanked the stars that the meeting had been interrupted.

"Young lady!" Fairy Mary scolded with her hands on her hips. "What is the meaning of this?"

"What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" the Tinker repeated holding out the square thing that had a bear on it along with the word _Klondike_.

"What is a Klondike Bar?"

"What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"

"Wha-t _i-s - _a – Klon-dike Ba-r?" Fairy Mary repeated drawing out the words slowly.

Tinker Bell gasped. "_You don't know what a Klondike Bar is?!"_

"No."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW?!" Another fairy shouted landing beside Tinker Bell. It was Vidia and Vidia being Vidia just had to add, "Oh wait, its cuz your old isn't it?

Fairy Mary narrowed her eyes dangerously.

The Fast-Flyer simply shrugged and said, "Well you old people don't really get things like us young ones do. That's a fact."

"Listen here y-"

"ANYWAY A KLONDIKE BAR is the ultimate source of perfection. It has a sweet, tasty chocolate shell and on the inside there is Vanilla flavored ice cream that melts on your tongue like a snowflake."

Several mouths started to drool at the words "ice cream".

"For that chocolate-y coated ice cream, loaded big and rich no room for a stick! What would you dooo for a Klondike Bar?" Tinker Bell chimed in holding up The Bar (yes it needs capital letters).

Vidia looked at the Minister of Spring. She smiled slyly and flew over to his desk which she sat on. Then she whipped out one and held it out for him. The Minister of Spring just glanced at The Bar before looking at her face. "Would you wrestle a hawk?" she asked.

"No." The sparrow man answered firmly.

Vidia waved the bar under his nose. "It's such rich chocolate that it's even better than kissing Queen Clarion…" she taunted earning a "HEY!" from Milori. "Go on, nothing can compete with _this."_

The Minister just looked at her.

Shrugging, the fairy started to peel away the shiny wrapper slowly and replied with, "Fine then. I'll just have to eat it. Right – in – front – of – your – face…"

The Minister made the mistake of glancing down again. He broke down just as she was about to put The Bar in her mouth. "ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT I'LL GO WRESTLE A HAWK!"

"Go on then! Off you go! We shall be watching."

He flew away from the room and towards the hawk's domain. After a few tense moments with distant shrieking, laughing, alarm-blowing, and what-ever-the-sound-hawk's-make, the Minister came back. His hair was full of twigs and feathers. "Do I – Do I get my Klondike Bar now?"

"Not yet. Wait for the others to do their tasks first." Vidia replied.

The sparrow man face planted into the floor for no reason.

Tinker Bell flew over to the Minister of Summer as Vidia started to eat The Bar. "So how ya doin'?"

"I'm okay…I guess…" The Minister replied uncertainly. "I would just like a Klondike Bar right now."

"What will you do for one?"

"I would _die _for one!"

Tinker Bell raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

The Minister's eyes grew wide. "Oh Heavens no! I just meant that figuratively."

"So what _will _you do?"

"Walk off a cliff!"

"Go on then! Shoo! Walk off a cliff!"

The fairy left and a few minutes later they all heard her scream before SPLASH!

By now Vidia had finished The Bar and she flew over to the two Rulers. "Soooooo what will you do?" she asked Clarion.

"I really don't want one…" Clarion started.

"Sure you do!"

"No I really don't –"

"C'mon Ree old gal! I'm pretty sure you want one!"

"…Well, if I wanted one, then I would make you fly all across Neverland and back for one whole day and night nonstop just to get you in line. That's what I would do." Clarion answered through narrowed eyes.

Vidia grimaced. "Well, Claire you old girl, that's not _you."_

"On the contrary," Milori butted in, "that is her. _She_ is ordering you to do something."

_Oh shit. This old geezer's got a point. Oh shit oh shit oh shit._ The Fast-Flyer thought. "Well, Milo," she purposely used the nickname he hated. "She doesn't want one. So I ain't flyin' anywhere."

Before this argument could get heated, the Minister of Autumn exclaimed loudly, "Well _I _would jump up and down once for a Klondike Bar."

Vidia sneered. "That isn't something."

"I beg to differ. I hate jumping."

"Fine then. Do it."

The Minister of Autumn jumped up and down once. "Where is my Klondike Bar?" he loftily asked.

Vidia clapped sarcastically before giving him one. "Here, have it."

The sparrow man quickly tore through the wrapping. He held up The Bar overdramatically before bringing it to his lips and biting into it. Immediately he spit it out yelling, "The heck? You said this was supposed to be good?!"

"Well yeah."

"You liar! THIS IS THE WORSTEST THING IN MY WHOLE LIFE THAT EVER TOUCHED MY MOUTH!"

"Too bad."

"Too bad. Too _bad_? I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!"

"You didn't pay anything."

"I WANT MY JUMP BACK!"

"Meh. Can't get that back either."

"THIS IS A RIP OFF! I CAN'T FREAKING BELIEVE I BIT INTO THAT!"

"Well you did."

"Grrr…"

"C'mon Tink, we're leaving." Vidia said dismissively, dragging her friend out the door.

"What would you dooo for a Klondike Bar?" Tinker Bell sang down the hallway.

The Minister of Autumn now wished that the meeting had never been interrupted.


End file.
